Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Blessings never cease

Our baby had to be put to sleep on Saturday. It was gut wrenching. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life, if not the most. Smoochie was a few days short of being 15 years old. I got her from my parents the day I got back from my first Youth Conference. I was a freshman in High School. She brought much joy into my life, and into the lives of those around me. I remember the first time I was away from her. I had just moved to Indiana, and I would be away from her for about 5 months, until Ben and I would get married. I cried most nights because I missed her so much. I was so happy when we brought her back to Indiana with us after our honeymoon.

She helped me get through a lot of hard times in my life. She was there, comforting me, when I had such a hard time getting pregnant. She wanted to play when I was sad and she loved to cuddle in bed with Ben. She loved to play catch! Her favorite treats were fruit; she loved mango, and bananas and she would beg to no end for some apple. She would also bark and bark and bark at you if you were having popcorn. She loved popcorn! Her loss for me has been pretty close to unbearable. I have cried to the point where my head is pounding and my eyes are swollen. This is a pain and emptiness I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Smoochie was very sick, with an infection in her uterus, a severe heart murmur and some trouble with breathing. She had a very long, and good life. I am blessed to have had her in my life, to have shared her with my husband Ben, and to have her be such a big part in the lives of my children. I love her forever, and forever she will be my Baby Bear.

As I searched the scriptures for comfort the night she passed on, I came across some verses in D&C section 77. It talked about the eternal felicity of animals after they've gone. I was so humbled at the fact that Heavenly Father helped me find specific comfort. In a world where there are bigger problems and more awful trials, He cared enough to lead me to read something that was specific to my pain. He knows and loves me; He listens to and answers my prayers. I will see my Smoochie Bear again. And I will continue to rejoice at the love and the blessings that are poured into my life by a Father whose love and care for me is Everlasting, despite the pain or trial I may experience. We are never alone.